Saturday, June 2, 2007

Are you flocking kidding me?

Alternate headlines:

Another mailbox that ruffled my feathers.

This one's for the birds.

Bird-brained idea for a mailbox.

And here's a joke, because I can't come up with anything else!

The Foo Bird

"A man went to Africa to do some game hunting.
While there, he hired a young native to accompany him as his guide.
Soon, a large flock of birds flew overhead and the hunter took aim.

The guide grabbed his arm and said "Oh,no! These are foo birds and to shoot one means terrible things will happen to you! The man figured that was only a superstition of the natives and shot one down. Then the rest of the flock returned and pooped all over him.

He hollered at the boy, "I must have some water right away to wash this mess off. The boy said "Oh no! To wash the crap of the foo bird off means sudden death immediately! Again the hunter ignored his advice, found water and got cleaned off.

Sure enough he dropped dead then and there.
The moral of this story is "If the foo shits, wear it.""

Friday, June 1, 2007

What's this Halibut?

Oh my cod! I'll try not to carp on this, but I can't kelp it.

I've haddock up to here with these homemade spray-painted, plywood mailboxes, it just pollacks finesse.

I sea your dilemma, a mailbox just isn't an attractive thing. But I'm urchin you, no matter what your neighbor does, just let it be what it is, you know what I marine?

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I just don't like Brett Favre...

and Green Bay sucks. By default, this mailbox sucks.

My suggestion would be that you paint the post orange. Then paint the helmet black. Place a white circle, with a grey border in the center. Then place a yellow diamond within that circle at noon, a red diamond at 3 o'clock and a blue diamond at 6 o'clock.

When done it should look something like this.

If I'm being honest, this is actually as tastefully done as one can get when doing a football helmet mailbox. I've seen much worse.

Hey like this one:

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Save the Manatees!

No wonder these gentle sea cows are endagered species. The illegal traffic in them feed America's lucrative black market for postal receptacles.

Somebody notify Greenpeace.

(thanks to Hannah for the "i haz a mailbox" caption idea. I wish I would have thought of that! )

In case, it wasn't painfully obvious by the 4 foot tall manatee curbside, these people really like manatees:

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Bozo's Box!

O rly?

To be fair, this person lives around a bend. Their mailbox has probably been taken out a few nights by someone pulling a Lindsy.

I didn't know they made reflective tape in so many shapes and sizes. I'm thinking of some interesting uses for that now....

Oh wait, back on topic. So yes, I should be able to see this at night when I'm coming around the corner. It'll make a good target.

If the Mailbox Fits...

If I think the mailbox is ugly, does that mean I think the house is ugly too?

Creative Solutions

The title is a lie. This isn't creative. This is lazy.

This is my neighbor's answer when confronted with the question, "What do I do now that our mail carrier left that annoying note telling me my mailbox was too low?"

Clever. See, I dug mine up, filled in the hole a couple inches and repotted it. Silly me!

Apparently though, I've missed a memo, because the guy across the street just did this recently:

He has 4 planks of wood! Not just three. He wins!

Then the other day I noticed that someone a few blocks over has topped them both:

Six!!! and he painted them green to match. He gets extra points for that and recieves the I Don't Have a Shovel Award.

Monday, May 28, 2007

If you can't fix it with duct tape...

try cinderblocks!

I drive by this mailbox everyday. One day I think I'll stop and leave an envelope with 25 bucks in it. That's what it costs for a new post. Really. That's what 5 rolls of duct tape cost. I'm pretty sure there's at least 5 rolls of duct tape on this thing.